Monday, April 28, 2008
BIG SMILE. for the silly fatty. say it with utmost flexibility in your face! makes yourself and people happy too. haha.
met kinda late, then sat around to chomp the super nice round and big ice cream mochi! after which, we headed to orchard area to exchange the shirt i got for him. kinda overestimated him, so he needed a smaller size. lol.
went for special dinner at a special out-of-the-way place every year. a very chill, australian premium food store concept. there's even a walk-in temperature controlled cheese room! and a cafe at that. =) so we dined there. nice surroundings too, with nice lights when the sun slowly sets.
a dining place with very different feel. interesting food with incoherent names, at least to me? haha. mine was kinda bland. fatty took the recommendation i researched online. so his fared better. was easily full yest. so yep. 1/3 of my food untouched. as usual, he finished the rest.
the other locations didn't work out cos fatty was fussy and picky. and my idea, he thought could be better in the future. so change of plans. caught a movie instead. ahhaa. a funny yet dirrrrty and stupid show. =P harold and kumar. yeps.
guess the day was kinda simple. but hope it put a GIGANTIC smile on that fat face. =) that's enough for me to have the exact same smile. hee.
and i wanna thank someone for going through yest pre-preparation and emotions with me. sorry that i made you worry. on top of that, i appreciate the arrows and smiley. really regret that i was so blur i didn't see them. but... you really don't have to. hope you won't again k... it was silly..=(
Closed Book At... [11:11 AM]
Friday, April 25, 2008
ah. why so complicating? =( many things just can't go how i think they should or would go. how how how. ask myself. just hope everything sorts out by itself. yeah yeah. machiam like real sehhhhh! haha.
there're some things i don't wanna tell certain people who are close to me cos'... i know they are stressed with their own stuff too. don't wanna add on more...
had a short crazy session with joycelyn in the studio. ahha and it was quite fun. tried to help her think of choreo too. hope i helped! =) just wanted to have fun. ahha.
then andreas. choreoed about one eight of girl's hip hop! lol. super funny. =) and fun. silly stuff too. the shuang face ya. haha.
yays. one nice shot. and i love my new cap! =)
hmm.. am missing someone who used to be quite close to me. =( sighs.
and just wanna wish those people taking part in konite all the best best tomorrow! will be rooting hard for you guys. go with love! =) take care too yea.. esp. beloved clonie and glutton face. haha. give you both double dose of love k! haha.
Closed Book At... [11:41 PM]
i'm stressed. very. such sticky situations... situations now are pretty bad.
i know you're worried. really don't want you to, and i understand your concern. but what you're doing is stressing me cos' i really have a clear idea what i'm doing. i'm sensible you know. just trust me with all your heart k? cos' i trust you, with all my heart. but some things you just can't understand so easily cos' you don't know the situation. so hope you would entrust me to myself to handle things and people. i appreciate you so much. thanks but... sometimes just allow me my ways? cos' i'll be fine, really. loves.
every single aspect is coming down on me now. everything's wrong. haywire. raaar. i'm tired mentally.
dance didn't go well today. i feel i did badly. gotta do much better tomorrow. i will try my utmost best.
feel so down and blank.. what can i do anymore? i'm trying my best in everything. why just doesn't anything turn out well and fine and perfect as i wanted? i wanna dance. but no confidence in my choreo all of a sudden. not like the confidence was even high in the first place. but it just had to drop.
became worse cos' of happenings today. i don't like you making me feel stressed. i wanna do well. but i just can't stop thinking about other stuff. stress level is to the brim. let me dance will you? i know i'm selfish to have my way.. but i want to.
broke down. much much. and thanks loads for being there. and please don't worry. you didn't add on to my stress at all. i'm fine.
Closed Book At... [12:18 AM]
Sunday, April 20, 2008
why can't i just be treated the way i deserve? haha.. when i treat you with all my heart, the way you don't deserve. really trying my utmost best in everything, thinking for you.
love the video i made for you. =) but i don't think you even feel the same anymore. haha. and it kinda hurts just watching it again. so i refrain myself from that silly click. =/
i took so much courage to finally call, just to hear from you. it was nice hearing your voice once again. been ages...you sounded so distant, so cold, so nonchalent. you don't seem to wanna tell me anything about you anymore. asked you a few 'whys', you said, "i can do my own things."
i don't know if you even care how much the things you've said stabbed me so deeply. don't know if you wonder what's going on in my life, my health, or even me as a person. so hurting. i can't let go. i wonder how you can... no matter how you told me you're able to take things easily, are you sure it's really so easy to forget all we've been through and not having any thought about being happy together once again?
don't you even reminisce despite your busy busy schedule? i just want you to be happy, to have an unforgettable birthday. you always know i do the best for you. but are you sure you still wanna celebrate your birthday with me?
i wonder how you're really feeling... whether you're keeping your true feelings from me for some reason, or am i just deluding myself?
even if you don't care, can you just act like you're concerned for once? do you know i appreciate every little single thing now like never before? i guess you will never understand how much everything means to me.
don't just leave me alone feeling this way will you?
and thanks to you for always trying your very best to accompany me when you're so busy with other stuff, to make sure i'm fine, and always noticing i'm not ok. thanks for chatting to keep me company late at night cos' i'm always wide awake, but yet playing music for me so it's easier for me to fall asleep. appreciate your thoughts alot. =)
many thanks to clonie and jean, my da lings, who never fail to be there. i just know they are people i can rely on all the time.
and many many others who cared for me. joycelyn, for sending me long long sms which was so cute but so true. kaiwen, who kept stuffing me with cookies. and others who tried making me feel better... andreas, junwei, sam and melissa.
and mr 'OF' who accompanied me and did alot, just to make sure i'm fine.
Closed Book At... [2:09 PM]
Saturday, April 19, 2008
jam and hop performance. haha. tired. tired. but it was fun. haha the atmosphere was high! and everyone was very supportive. thanks thanks. i guess everything went well on a whole. haha. but i forgot my reggae steps! like the first time, and it had to be during performance. arrgh. =P
after that we 'opened our circle'. ahha didn't dare to step out but was nice to watch and cheer. =) haha. lotsa interesting stuff!
but yeah. i enjoyed myself. and really thanks to my beloved dance darlins. =) love them to bits. and oh yes, i really appreciate the card i received. it was so sweet and caring. surprised me.. but yeah. was all smiles upon receiving it. thanks!
juniors before regatta performance
studio fun!
the glutton face. haha =P
clonie, the showgirl.
squeeeze for the shot!
smiles. and juang's eye, with intensity. haha.
sexy! i insist.
fierce.
my personal fav stylist. =)
the after concert joy.
oolala. was eventful. but yeah. somehow upset thinking about certain stuff. i fear the distance, but i guess there's no way to avoid it. and till now, it's so disheartening that i feel that there's really nothing much for me to say already.
it's even so very hard to just simply dial your number and press call. i'm just tired. tired. very tired.
Closed Book At... [1:09 AM]
Friday, April 11, 2008
hello. are you listening? are you reading? are you feeling what i'm feeling?
i wonder.
you seem to have vanished. and the whole situation is different.
just wish to tell you... i'm willing to do anything that's good for you. the reason's simple. cos' i truly want the best for you.
Closed Book At... [6:27 PM]
Thursday, April 10, 2008
i'm playing the possibility game.
which doesn't even seem to exist. as the days go by, the possibility seems to keep decreasing. i wonder if it's just the situation, or just you and your feelings.. i'm not confident of getting this back anymore. i used to be... but now, it seems so distant.
you are someone i never want to let go of. this is something i can predict, for sure.
i'm trying my best, doing all i can... but things just seem so bleak now. the future is blank and blurred. i have no idea what i can do anymore. i feel so lost.
everytime i think of doing something, i feel my heart cringe and shiver. it feels so tough now, to do whatever we used to do last time.
i can only have this last hope - that everything is due to the situation. not anything else, anyone else, or feelings.
i really miss moomoo. so much... so bad. the heart wrench is still so terrible whenever i think of the past.
no courage anymore... no courage to tell you i miss you so much, no courage to say i love you loads.
Closed Book At... [12:41 AM]
Sunday, April 06, 2008
i've never been so afraid of losing you before.
and i've lost.
Closed Book At... [1:27 AM]
Thursday, April 03, 2008
you say hurtful things, the blame's on me.
and when i give you a chance to explain, it's me who's disrupting your rest. the fault lies in me.
you feel stressed at work, it all comes down to me.
when i tell you i'm very sick when you're stressed, you just want to stay away from me and be alone. the pain is on me.
you still can't view things from my perspective. today's letter was useless. nothing ever changes.
the hurtful words from you made me feel very terrible. and when i hope to hear your explanations, you flare up. and then, you ask me to just leave you alone and give you a break. everything's a joke, isn't it? haha.
Closed Book At... [1:00 AM]
Wednesday, April 02, 2008
WHO AM I TO YOU?
why does it seem like i'm so much less important now? compared to other things. when you've said so many things last time to make me feel otherwise? can you just spare a thought for me? sometimes i feel that it's so hard. to even think more for me.
i don't seem to mean a single thing to you anymore. not at all.
and why do you always misread my meanings. just asking and longing for a bit more, you start saying i'm adding on. i'm not even forcing you to do anything, already accomodating so much, and you say such things. i feel that your initial stress is from your main thing and once i ask just a bit more, it seems to add on so much, and all the blame seems to lie on me now.
why do you always make me so confused? why do you say something and do otherwise? why can't you be a third party and see it from another point of view? why? just cos' you're in the situation and only feel and see things from yourself? of cos' i do understand from you that's why i don't ask for much anymore. not even the least bit.
you tell me you need to learn as much. that i understand. but why when things happen, it seems like you can't even put down this learning for ABIT to be there more for me, to think more for me, to care more for me? why...
sometimes why it seems like you can never do even the least i need? even when i need to talk badly, you can just keep pushing things. tmr, tmr... next week next week.. i guess when it's finally time you can talk to me, i'll have forgotten what i have to say anymore.
i'm at my lowest point. i don't even feel like telling you or make a fuss anymore. you won't understand. and i'm so tired.
Closed Book At... [5:37 PM]
Tuesday, April 01, 2008
when will you realise the beauty of simplicity?
sometimes when you're too engrossed in something, you neglect some other things and gradually lose them. perhaps to you, these things are less important. or... maybe you don't realise you've actually lost them.
even if they're very important, you won't know, cos' the main thing keeps you too occupied for other thoughts and emotions.
cos' you're just too focused and into that main thing, which takes up 90% of your time and energy. i won't tell you this fact. you're in the situation, and will never see things or understand from my perspective. possibly even a negative effect.
there have been countless times you say things that you won't do or can't do (in your words). i believe there's a choice in everything. but you always tell me there isn't, to make me believe that the other decision is impossible.
i feel that i have spoken too much all these while. telling you my feelings doesn't necessarily work out. instead, it might worsen things. i should be careful about the words i say from now on... kinda tired of saying, cos' it always results in the worst situations ever. and... i've come to a conclusion that saying doesn't make a difference most of the time.
it's either you dont' understand, or still insist in your way. so... what's the point?
how i actually hope what you said today was just an april fool's joke. but, judging from the person you are, it's not possible.
i just wanna dance my time away from you.
Closed Book At... [6:09 PM]
Saliva Bin______
Who Am I______
jasmine .//. ahlee .//. skippy
My Shining Stars______
.:+:.9p
Loves_________
*DANCE *hip hop *fashion *music *holidays *shopping My Past Thoughts___
|March 2005|April 2005|May 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005|December 2005|January 2006|March 2006|April 2006|May 2006|June 2006|July 2006|August 2006|September 2006|October 2006|November 2006|December 2006|January 2007|February 2007|March 2007|April 2007|May 2007|June 2007|July 2007|August 2007|September 2007|October 2007|November 2007|December 2007|January 2008|February 2008|March 2008|April 2008|May 2008|June 2008|July 2008|August 2008|September 2008|October 2008|November 2008|December 2008|February 2009|March 2009|April 2009|May 2009|June 2009|July 2009|August 2009|September 2009|October 2009|November 2009|December 2009|January 2010|February 2010|March 2010|April 2010|May 2010|June 2010|July 2010|August 2010|October 2010|February 2011
30th Aug 88
andrina_lee@hotmail.com
.:+:.family
.:+:.dance
.:+:.TPDE
.:+:.ryan and gin
.:+:.epic crew
*great company *bling blings *jackets *nice shows & movies
*fav comic *CLEO mag *sexy heels *high cut shoes
*accessories *spongebob *patrick *oreo cheesecakes
*ice cream *coffee fraup *strawberries & cream, starbucks
*iced caramel macchiato *eggs *milk tea *clam chowder
*jap food *seaweed *salmon sashimi *lobster salad
*ice cream mochi *pasta *yakult *yogurt
*my beloved dogs, toffee and honey
Them__________
|9p|
yingxia|
hsin|
rine|
vanessa|
My Blogskins__________
|mavis|
jace|
|nicole|
xiaopei|
clonie|
serene|
raaz|
|samlee|
kat|
joyce|
|childhood memories|
|beachy girls [anime]|
|broken promise|
|sweet pink|
|sly - rawker of my life|
|one more step, to the edge|
|life is like a dream*|
|BoA - dance to the beat|
|magical falling gift|
|the gothic girl [anime]|
|dreamy [anime]|
|i'm your lil' angel [anime]|
|it was a rainy day [anime]|
|watching over you [anime]|
|rush hour [anime]|
|good old times [anime] (dedicated to mel)|
|noodle trouble|
Rise and shine, puppeteer.