Sunday, May 30, 2010
camwhore log, photo log/story board.
pre trip.
what? paper work
mood: bored
location: musty little store
--
on trip.
mood: tired but excited, ready to sleep with handy eye mask.
location: 1st day. boos ride.
mood: happy, energized.
location: 2nd day. hotel room.
outfit. lovely river island cardigan detail. cool steal!
map that made me excited.
banana win from funfair stations. not exactly cheap. at all. cos' i kept hooking the ZERO ducks!
i love the sound of the chips.
my topshot 9 bucks dotty stockings! love + superb deal x 100.
hello pees, i gave lion D
--
what? birthday celeb
location: party world.
coco exotic from four leaves. yums to all. but not so much to me. originally planned to get awfully chocolate's banana chocolate cake but they were closed! =(
all smiles. (ok mum doesn't really know how to smile in photos)
--
our spontaneous actssss in a day.
on our way to have super spicy thai food. (my direction failure caused them to walk a big round which i am still extremely guilty of. to think i've been there countless times)
after meal digestion activities
intellectual game
our start. forgot to capture a shot of our great finishing words.
my 'hand' of alphabets. random thought: i think anagrams are cool.
fun timed charades.
i think mel looks innocently cute here!
happy hair of the day.
and please please tell me if anyone ever sees cookies and cream hello panda!! =(
where shall i head to tomorrow.....? i'll just decide over sleep. haha. nights.
Closed Book At... [1:09 AM]
Thursday, May 27, 2010
of course, some people are just selfish. it's all about themselves isn't it?
maybe they changed to be? it could be others who made them become this way but in the end the person who didn't end up receiving all the selfish acts and thoughts.
i'm used to it. and now i choose not to care anymore. it's all proven through many things over a long period of time. i guess this is when one's been hurt too much, they finally become clear-minded.
selfish. the lies. unfeeling. nonchalence.
it's ok, i've accepted that a while ago.
though you took away my pain, you returned it doubled over a longer period of time. that, i can only blame myself for taking so long cos' you simply meant too much.
truly, i've always wanted us to be so close like before again. but i've learnt, through various issues, your reactions/responses depict clearly who you are now. i know, and i will never try or ever wish that you become the selfless person you were ages ago. as long as you're happy now, it really doesn't matter.
friends are very important to me. but i think i don't need unfeeling friends who don't appreciate and only care about themselves. i just know... i have done more than enough. as a friend, a close friend. i really tried my best, all for you silently.
i will only treasure the people who treasure me. and show that they really do.
thought through hard and well. your words/actions, the situations you left me in the lurch, flashed by my mind so quickly. it still hurts every single time it crosses my mind. but subsequently, everything became clear.
even after everything done, after yesterday, my sincere wishes still brought about negative feelings. haha it's really ridiculous. if you had pondered objectively over what i said, you'd know what i meant.
no matter what, i'm still glad that i've done the last thing, which didn't exactly end up too well. but i'm happy enough cos' that's what i really wanted to do.. for you.
no more saying anything, any feelings. no more. be it my problems or even concern for you. not anymore. i don't wanna be seen as someone who's deterring your happiness. cos' i'll never be such a person.
now i'm sure i don't need you in my life anymore. it's me who choose to get out of your life. and yes, no worries. i will definitely move on to the next chapter. it took too long. and i was a fool all along.
not anymore now.
till now, you might not know what went wrong, but maybe someday you would.
it's the end. i choose to say goodbye. still, i'll always remember the good things. thanks for making my best memories in life. =)
shall go look for dg with yummylicious bread later! poor girl. =(
genting pics soooooon!!
and... i hope my appeal gets through.
Closed Book At... [3:23 PM]
Wednesday, May 26, 2010
taken as a fool.
a real fool.
to believe what you said entirely.
i'm tearing now not because of the harsh truth, but the you whom i've always believed actually lied to me. it's this realisation that hurts.
thinking about it, the timeline proceeded real fast.
things turned sour for us in oct. someone ended in oct.
something still happened in dec.
you were happy once again in feb or maybe even earlier.
i wish i could be like you, seriously.
now, i feel like i'm a fool recovering so slow.
i can ignore the truth. i don't care. but i can't ignore the fact that you lied.
at least i was honest.
if a simple text which didn't get through and something you didn't receive could make you respond so coldly, saying that there's nothing left between us as friends, just shows that you've failed to see my effort. i thought you should have known better. i always do.
or maybe you've forgotten the me you've known for so long.
even if the text or the 2nd thing didn't come your way, isn't the 1st enough to show how willing i am to put in effort for you and that i'll always care? or did you even take that into consideration?
and that nonchalence even when you know it's a possibility that the 2nd thing i put so much effort in could have been missing. you actually just said maybe someone took it, nvm thanks anyway. not even the slightest concern. no worries about it, no questions what it could be, but so hung up about a greeting that didn't come your way? i wonder what means more. and i really don't know anymore.
isn't that being selfish?
i just know... it was the best i've ever done.
and then i found out about the lies.
today made me realise you've never used your heart to appreciate me and feel my efforts. the things i do, the effort i put in, and me as a person... is so redundant.
i'm finally awake.
Closed Book At... [2:56 PM]
Thursday, May 20, 2010
day and night.
mood board. select appropriate mood of the day.
missing letters provided to receiver for completion of words.
the extremes
left is how i'm feeling now.
spelling error edited but no photo of the final piece.
--
yays. happily skyped dt a while ago!! =) love it love it. yes dt i won't be gw anymore. she was totally tempted by the look of my durian puffs. the ones from causeway point are MAD LOVE. and have fun at berlin, dt love!
--
let's go to london pleeeeeeaseee.
Closed Book At... [8:41 PM]
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
you'll never ever understand. the pain inside. been so long... but still seems like yesterday. 7 months, and still going.
sudden flashbacks of your harsh words and actions fresh in my mind. days i was left in the lurch, all alone, thrown aside like someone who will never ever mean anything to anyone anymore. my painful struggle, but you and your smiles. you were so nonchalent and unfeeling. really, nothing makes much of a difference now.
when a person is happy now, does someone else's sadness just seem to fade into nothingness? and to these people, some things are so easy in their happy world. cos' their happiness is all that matters, not you or your feelings, or anything else.
truly, i'm happy for you. but i know there's never going to be any point telling you anything. you won't understand. you can't feel. you don't know anything or maybe you pretend not to.
hate this inferiority. i wonder when it started to be this way.
but i'm ok. i will be.
i swallowed hard, and pondered hard.
i need to continue to focus.
it'll be over soon.
--
despite all, i'm so appreciative of certain things and people in my life. they make things a tad easier. and it's them who made me alive once again.
amidst the hurt, the fog just seems to clear up more.
Closed Book At... [4:14 PM]
Sunday, May 16, 2010
time: almost 4am and i'm still here.
for a sole reason.
--
and... a smile and thumbs up for you, genuinely. =)
Closed Book At... [3:39 AM]
Saturday, May 15, 2010
i don't have the mood to go on anymore.
just don't look.
carry on. late.
i don't know. it's revisiting the pain. recurring.
should it even be me?
Closed Book At... [1:57 PM]
Thursday, May 13, 2010
and i guess...
i'm all set to go.
thank you so much mel. =)
sleeeeeeeepy. so early. but still, off to do some stuff then lights out!
Closed Book At... [10:56 PM]
Wednesday, May 12, 2010
tired. always. i wonder how and why.
all in a day...
morning at work.
boredom. yes, again. with new nails and new watch!
happy with new nail colour.
then... after a short evening,
i look eyeless.
note: new nails done using diy sticker (i'm so not a manicure addict) in less than a few hours, while still being outside. haha, save my ugly short nails.
been super duper blur these days. distracted and just doing things blindly.
act 1: left a bun and a few pairs of newly bought fake lashes in a fitting room. realised after a shocking 30mins. walked all the way back, only one pair of fake lash left. the person who took it was pretty selective huh. and should i say thanks for at least leaving me with one? oh, guess she doesn't like buns too. =O
act 2: removed my bangle while trying on clothes (again. i told you i'm in a state of fashion madness). left without bangle. hur.
act 3: accidentally cut myself with a metal measuring tape at work. kept bleeding for a while.
careless me. so not a d&t person. =(
bloodified. small wound, but deep cut. and that's toilet paper. haha.
mum's so worried about it being rusty and went on about me possibly dying. she insisted i go for a checkup. lol.
after blur act 3, still me despite the pain!
act 4: forgetting i've removed my contacts and that they're already in the case, i emptied the case and washed them down the sink. =/
randoms. still in diet mode.
hi toffee, quit giving me that pitiful look. or are you sleepy?
on my high priority wish list. =( but guess i'm gonna forgo it.
and weird annoying people do exist. sadly, there are a few near my workplace.
i really wonder what's going on with me. think eventually i'll do it. just simply... the feeling. but i'm soooooo unsure.
i don't think you actually need me though.
nights. sleep tight. =)
Closed Book At... [12:38 AM]
Saturday, May 08, 2010
work. boredom.
side.
mess.
recent fashion frenzy, shopping frenzy. part of the therapy?
over and out.
nights.
Closed Book At... [8:15 PM]
Saliva Bin______
Who Am I______
jasmine .//. ahlee .//. skippy
My Shining Stars______
.:+:.9p
Loves_________
*DANCE *hip hop *fashion *music *holidays *shopping My Past Thoughts___
|March 2005|April 2005|May 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005|December 2005|January 2006|March 2006|April 2006|May 2006|June 2006|July 2006|August 2006|September 2006|October 2006|November 2006|December 2006|January 2007|February 2007|March 2007|April 2007|May 2007|June 2007|July 2007|August 2007|September 2007|October 2007|November 2007|December 2007|January 2008|February 2008|March 2008|April 2008|May 2008|June 2008|July 2008|August 2008|September 2008|October 2008|November 2008|December 2008|February 2009|March 2009|April 2009|May 2009|June 2009|July 2009|August 2009|September 2009|October 2009|November 2009|December 2009|January 2010|February 2010|March 2010|April 2010|May 2010|June 2010|July 2010|August 2010|October 2010|February 2011
30th Aug 88
andrina_lee@hotmail.com
.:+:.family
.:+:.dance
.:+:.TPDE
.:+:.ryan and gin
.:+:.epic crew
*great company *bling blings *jackets *nice shows & movies
*fav comic *CLEO mag *sexy heels *high cut shoes
*accessories *spongebob *patrick *oreo cheesecakes
*ice cream *coffee fraup *strawberries & cream, starbucks
*iced caramel macchiato *eggs *milk tea *clam chowder
*jap food *seaweed *salmon sashimi *lobster salad
*ice cream mochi *pasta *yakult *yogurt
*my beloved dogs, toffee and honey
Them__________
|9p|
yingxia|
hsin|
rine|
vanessa|
My Blogskins__________
|mavis|
jace|
|nicole|
xiaopei|
clonie|
serene|
raaz|
|samlee|
kat|
joyce|
|childhood memories|
|beachy girls [anime]|
|broken promise|
|sweet pink|
|sly - rawker of my life|
|one more step, to the edge|
|life is like a dream*|
|BoA - dance to the beat|
|magical falling gift|
|the gothic girl [anime]|
|dreamy [anime]|
|i'm your lil' angel [anime]|
|it was a rainy day [anime]|
|watching over you [anime]|
|rush hour [anime]|
|good old times [anime] (dedicated to mel)|
|noodle trouble|
Rise and shine, puppeteer.