Wednesday, January 31, 2007
i seriously have no idea what's up with me. totally feel so lost and i'm gradually losing all the confidence i have. so disappointed and angry with myself.
like loadsa things going on. i don't know if i can continue coping with all the stuff. it's crashing. i'm losing it...
Closed Book At... [4:31 PM]
Thursday, January 25, 2007
all the no worries... almost lost.
blank. misses.
at least i feel they're still treasured. or is it only on the surface? no meanings attached? and i wonder...
i guess it's insignificant.
Closed Book At... [12:20 PM]
Monday, January 22, 2007
perhaps deep inside me, i do mind... but to what extent, i don't really know.
i won't deny i have unwanted doubts.
Closed Book At... [11:16 AM]
Saturday, January 20, 2007
it's so tough, watching the world crash down on others who are always with you. eventually, you feel like the world is slowly crashing on you as well. but it isn't comparable to what they are really experiencing.
all you can do is to be there for them. sometimes it feels like being there doesn't help at all. but although the sadness is so deep, it does help to raise the low spirits a little higher. at least there's a difference to have people around.
it's so nice seeing things sorted out once and for all, and hope everything stays this way now. loves to people around me. loves to person around me too. =) yeah, underlying meaning intended.
so stressful to have things you wanna do but can't seem to start anyhow, anytime. frustration. really. even the most important factor - time, can't seem to get me started. the clock's ticking. am involved in other things. it's my choice but nonetheless, there's still the worry that i can't manage the main stream. oh well, just see how it goes...
Closed Book At... [3:13 PM]
Tuesday, January 16, 2007
is it my focus level, my body condition, or is it just me?
so frustrated. so blank. i feel the inner screams, but just can't seem to let everything out.
despite me feeling quite unwell, i felt that i tried real hard. so... somehow i think it's just me.
perhaps i really can't do it...
Closed Book At... [12:12 AM]
Thursday, January 11, 2007
am real real sick! haha. it's torturous. feeling much worse today. think overworked. really. but still... can't help it yeah. have loads to be done. =/
wed was the pretty sick day. didn't wanna go for broadcast, and it was sooo rushed that morning.. but isn't really fair to my co-hosting partner, since it's the only time to practise that day.
woke super early, didn't have the intention to get a dress, but to do some other stuff. then on second thoughts, i think i should get one to practise with. so at the last last minute, i got one in a hurry. reached school on the dot, but didn't have time to do studio make up and get changed. =(
after all the rushing, it was down to serious work! we went through our lines and... waited for our turn! took some pics in the tv studio while waiting, but turned out quite clubbish. =P
during recording
with joce after recording
and after broadcast, joce and me loaned out a recorder for radio interview. went for dance first.. felt very groggy. so didn't really dance. yep and then i rushed to clarke quay - interview time!
we're supposed to go to bars and clubs to interview people. kinda scary initially, since we didn't know the place around. and... i've never been there. but it was all cool. seeing the magnificent view from the river, with beautiful lights and pretty glass windows. i saw a bungee jump ride! sooo cool, but expensive too. and i doubt i'd have the courage to go on it. =P
we met assy people, and really nice people who accepted our interviews readily. joce even managed to get someone from a live band! it was a great night out, even though it was for our assignment.
reviewed the recordings today in the editing suite. felt that the quality isn't exactly the best. and joce's ones are quite bad. still contemplating... not sure if we wanna do again. going back there? errm... haha. in two minds. yeah.
am soo stressed.. but nvm. i will hang in there. =) and i'm really very touched. i feel so loved by many. everyone's so sweet can...
thanks baba, for getting porridge and chrysanthemum for me, sorry that i forgot to take the porridge. but really much appreciated k! thanks jean for getting me the seaweed and taking care of me, promise u i'll eat it much later k! thanks weiqiang, for making the funny honey lime salt for me to drink. =P and randy, for going all the way to get honey lemon for me.
thanks nicole, for the upcoming surprise. haha.. don't know what yet though. thanks cloney for the sweet caring smses, pris and unice for asking if i'm fine.
thanks xinya... for getting me the herbal candies. christina, joce, loo, tammy for the caring scoldings.
and most importantly, someone who cared and helped me soooo sooo much, in many many ways. some things just can't be put into words easily.. =) really touched... and lotsa love. =DD *super wide smile* haha. very sweet.
so loved... =)
Closed Book At... [10:17 PM]
Monday, January 08, 2007
'I've got a question for ya... see i already know the answer. Still I wanna ask you, would you lie... make me cry... do something behind my back and then try to cover it up...'
a random line that keeps recurring in my mind. love the song, love this part.
have you ever felt like u wanna be cut off from the world, but just only continue on one aspect that you truly love? it's so seldom i feel so... but yeah, i'm feeling this now. please cut me off from school work, from everything... except dance.
ok, i know this is impossible. can't run away from the harsh reality that school work does exist. can't ignore them if i wanna do well. it's so scary. i can't guarantee i can cope. hope i won't break down.
if it's dance, i will turn up no matter how tired i am, and just dance. if it's school, i will complete my assignments to the best i can, and submit on time. two different matters. but seriously, now... i can't make sure this stays well both ways, and that i won't be affected. in the dance aspect is... my focus level. in school work, means... the quality of my work.
school work's never stopped lingering in my mind, but i can't get started, due to various factors. time constraints and all. i'm scared. i wanna do well. but... how? sometimes it's not like you wanna do well, and u can. i'm trying real hard already.
but at the end of the day, i still feel... dance is worth it all. =) and thanks baba.. for always encouraging me, and being so worried if i'm stressed or not, while learning the new lyrical dance steps. =) thanks to pris and jean for teaching me the steps so patiently. thanks to nicole, for teaching too, and always correcting my big or little mistakes. =)
the sweet big or little loves keep me going.
Closed Book At... [3:02 PM]
Saturday, January 06, 2007
tcc performance yest. was soo fun! even though i was stoning some of the time, due to only having 2 hours of sleep rushing assignment. but still... so high! haha.. adrenaline rush during performance and i felt it was quite good. =)
first, it was rushing after teaching of new protools in radio class, to meet the rest for preparation! marked stage and went through.. then we went to a classroom to get ready.
getting ready
preparation again
haha.. and after performance, it was so dark, i missed a step. clumsiness. haha. nearly fell quite badly. but was lucky!
after performance, we fooled around in the classroom. below are evidences to charge us in court. =P
dfferent levels
hip hip big tee us!
guys handstand
girls handstand
we are cha chak lockers =P
the poppers
the cute hiphoppers
retarded act formal pic
me and weiqiang
jean, me and unice after performance
haha.. yea.. it's always fun after a performance. and we went chomp chomp at kfc, then to tampines mall for shopping. many of us bought the same big big tee! super nice and we all love it. haha.. we're in love with big tees now. =) hippity hoppity.
and i'm really very tired... there isn't a day i can rest at all. this morning i had early morning class, handed in proposal, and really sorry to miss danceworks practice. after class, it was open house training. and tomorrow, dance again and again! i really really love, but tired la... =/ losing focus and concentration due to the fatigue. been so blur recently...
loo said dance is slowly causing me my health. it was upon sudden realisation that i think she's quite right. but i know it's all worth it. thinking back to the past, i'm so glad i mustered the courage to join dance again in year 2 despite the loneliness i would have to face. had no friends when i initially joined but now... the friends make dance complete. =)
if i had not persevered, i'd be missing out on soooo much. my beloved darlins and all we've been through. we experienced so much together... can't really be put into words, but something that we all share which only we feel and we know... =D
Closed Book At... [8:07 PM]
Thursday, January 04, 2007
yep, i think i've never stopped saying about rushing madness. lol. ya and this is... i zi zhao de. but still, i like the additional aspect. =) haha!
haven't been feeling well all along. felt quite sick today, so finally went to see the doctor. so expensive too! =/ but really so sorry to leave my group members to digitize the PSA by themselves. hope all's fine. =(
shall remind myself about work to be done. title sequence by this sat! it's so hard la. gotta think about a movie that i wanna film, then take pics for storyboard. PSA editing! radio assignment! haven't interviewed a single person. sheesh. and my topic... erm. will require me to go to clubs to interview organizers and clubbers. wonder how to start on that. =/
radio group work! decide on topic, who for what roles, commercials and practise equipment! broadcast co-hosting preparation... cross cultural assignment... multimedia assignment. have yet to even prepare the graphics for it! cross cultural grp project... and multimedia website... ahhhhh.
can i just like die now? other than that, dance! i really wonder how it's gonna be like for me... really gotta try to manage. but i'm already tired now. and stressed. sick too. just try to start work early, but due to the dance madness rush, it's quite impossible. haha.. shall see how things go.
dance is essential, school work is crucial. haha. i wanna do well, in both aspects. really. but sometimes it's not like u can achieve what you plan to achieve. it's not that easy. yaa.. will try! =)
am kinda traumatized over some stuff now. paranoid too. and i guess it's the happenings around us that shape us as a person. the way we perceive the world and surroundings. yep. like how i'm fearful of certain things now. =/ can't really dismiss the unpleasant thoughts too.
just really glad to have some people always by my side. darlins who always zhan zai wo zhe bian.. haha.. treasure them so sooo much. =) total tangguo-ness. love.
Closed Book At... [1:49 PM]
Saliva Bin______
Who Am I______
jasmine .//. ahlee .//. skippy
My Shining Stars______
.:+:.9p
Loves_________
*DANCE *hip hop *fashion *music *holidays *shopping My Past Thoughts___
|March 2005|April 2005|May 2005|June 2005|July 2005|August 2005|September 2005|October 2005|November 2005|December 2005|January 2006|March 2006|April 2006|May 2006|June 2006|July 2006|August 2006|September 2006|October 2006|November 2006|December 2006|January 2007|February 2007|March 2007|April 2007|May 2007|June 2007|July 2007|August 2007|September 2007|October 2007|November 2007|December 2007|January 2008|February 2008|March 2008|April 2008|May 2008|June 2008|July 2008|August 2008|September 2008|October 2008|November 2008|December 2008|February 2009|March 2009|April 2009|May 2009|June 2009|July 2009|August 2009|September 2009|October 2009|November 2009|December 2009|January 2010|February 2010|March 2010|April 2010|May 2010|June 2010|July 2010|August 2010|October 2010|February 2011
30th Aug 88
andrina_lee@hotmail.com
.:+:.family
.:+:.dance
.:+:.TPDE
.:+:.ryan and gin
.:+:.epic crew
*great company *bling blings *jackets *nice shows & movies
*fav comic *CLEO mag *sexy heels *high cut shoes
*accessories *spongebob *patrick *oreo cheesecakes
*ice cream *coffee fraup *strawberries & cream, starbucks
*iced caramel macchiato *eggs *milk tea *clam chowder
*jap food *seaweed *salmon sashimi *lobster salad
*ice cream mochi *pasta *yakult *yogurt
*my beloved dogs, toffee and honey
Them__________
|9p|
yingxia|
hsin|
rine|
vanessa|
My Blogskins__________
|mavis|
jace|
|nicole|
xiaopei|
clonie|
serene|
raaz|
|samlee|
kat|
joyce|
|childhood memories|
|beachy girls [anime]|
|broken promise|
|sweet pink|
|sly - rawker of my life|
|one more step, to the edge|
|life is like a dream*|
|BoA - dance to the beat|
|magical falling gift|
|the gothic girl [anime]|
|dreamy [anime]|
|i'm your lil' angel [anime]|
|it was a rainy day [anime]|
|watching over you [anime]|
|rush hour [anime]|
|good old times [anime] (dedicated to mel)|
|noodle trouble|
Rise and shine, puppeteer.