Sunday, July 30, 2006
i guess nothing from me is of value anymore...
Closed Book At... [11:42 AM]
Tuesday, July 25, 2006
it's not me... definitely not.
i wish i could say... it's not me behind all my actions. there's something else taking charge, responsible for everything i've done.
i know i shouldn't do those things... but i just went ahead, mindlessly. this is cognitive dissonance, i guess.
never felt such overpowering guilt for ages... but what's told is told. what's done is done. a feeling i can't get over so easily.. it's not that simple.
slowly, the image is forming, the conclusion gradually visible.. it isn't worthwhile.
the perceived bout of happiness isn't that great, after all the neutralizing. in fact, it's the contrary.
i feel the intrication.
Closed Book At... [4:06 PM]
Thursday, July 20, 2006
when unhappiness prevails...
i led a simple life. but... things had to come, to change the all-so-normal life i had. disruptions, complications and much uncertainty came, turning my life topsy-turvy.
never met such things before... the dark side of people. this is what i see.
friends were great (they still are), close to being perfect. and i know i'm blessed.
i refuse to admit we were too sheltered, as sai suggested. i know we weren't. cos' we didn't try to avoid the problems which came our way.. cos' nothing much ever struck us. we were just nine happy people.
perhaps cos' of the lack of knowledge with such things, i've been so gullible and trusting, always having the mentality that niceness exists in every heart. Signs stating 'everyone is nice' are at every corner, every turn, everywhere... in this lil' world of mine.
i'm constantly landing myself in situations which opens up for much controversy, including belligerent cases. but, my foot is already in.
withdrawal is possible. do i want to choose this path? and i wonder...
if all these are worthwhile... i'd gladly step my other foot in.
but, i can't gauge... and i don't know.
Closed Book At... [12:16 AM]
Friday, July 14, 2006
it's been a roller coaster journey... mood-wise, mainly on low ground.
i think i've made a wrong choice. but, we make choices in life and are responsible for them.
anyway, ryan's coming back.. and i'm a little dreadful. he's gonna drill us for the concert training. the girls item is the main stress factor that has always been weighing on my mind. soon, there'll be a one-to-one audition, with everyone watching. how stressful can it get. hippity hoppity. i shall just drop dead and die.
but this is only the beginning...
gotta juggle so many stuff. it's time i learn to prioritise... but there's this certain priority that would actually encourage me to prioritise something else instead.
ahh.. and mum's really nice.. i appreciate her alot alot.. just that... sometimes she's living in her own paranoia world, like the sky's gonna fall any moment, although i understand that she cares. but some things she say are... so so untrue.
Closed Book At... [2:48 AM]
Tuesday, July 11, 2006
I dislike irrationalism, but... it has to exist.
And controversy is an absolute no-no.
Closed Book At... [8:32 PM]
Sunday, July 09, 2006
in the future, i will just look back and mock at myself. the stupid things i have done, which are a waste of time and money.
but at this present moment, i don't realise it.
eh... actually i do, just that i can't help but continue being silly.
then eventually, i'll regret.
they'll all be kept in a little history book chucked in the corner of a dusty shelf.
Closed Book At... [1:59 AM]
Saliva Bin______
Who Am I______
jasmine .//. ahlee .//. skippy
My Shining Stars______
.:+:.9p
Loves_________
*DANCE *hip hop *fashion *music *holidays *shopping My Past Thoughts___
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30th Aug 88
andrina_lee@hotmail.com
.:+:.family
.:+:.dance
.:+:.TPDE
.:+:.ryan and gin
.:+:.epic crew
*great company *bling blings *jackets *nice shows & movies
*fav comic *CLEO mag *sexy heels *high cut shoes
*accessories *spongebob *patrick *oreo cheesecakes
*ice cream *coffee fraup *strawberries & cream, starbucks
*iced caramel macchiato *eggs *milk tea *clam chowder
*jap food *seaweed *salmon sashimi *lobster salad
*ice cream mochi *pasta *yakult *yogurt
*my beloved dogs, toffee and honey
Them__________
|9p|
yingxia|
hsin|
rine|
vanessa|
My Blogskins__________
|mavis|
jace|
|nicole|
xiaopei|
clonie|
serene|
raaz|
|samlee|
kat|
joyce|
|childhood memories|
|beachy girls [anime]|
|broken promise|
|sweet pink|
|sly - rawker of my life|
|one more step, to the edge|
|life is like a dream*|
|BoA - dance to the beat|
|magical falling gift|
|the gothic girl [anime]|
|dreamy [anime]|
|i'm your lil' angel [anime]|
|it was a rainy day [anime]|
|watching over you [anime]|
|rush hour [anime]|
|good old times [anime] (dedicated to mel)|
|noodle trouble|
Rise and shine, puppeteer.