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taken as a fool.

a real fool.

to believe what you said entirely.

i'm tearing now not because of the harsh truth, but the you whom i've always believed actually lied to me. it's this realisation that hurts.

thinking about it, the timeline proceeded real fast.

things turned sour for us in oct. someone ended in oct.

something still happened in dec.

you were happy once again in feb or maybe even earlier.

i wish i could be like you, seriously.

now, i feel like i'm a fool recovering so slow.

i can ignore the truth. i don't care. but i can't ignore the fact that you lied.

at least i was honest.

if a simple text which didn't get through and something you didn't receive could make you respond so coldly, saying that there's nothing left between us as friends, just shows that you've failed to see my effort. i thought you should have known better. i always do.

or maybe you've forgotten the me you've known for so long.

even if the text or the 2nd thing didn't come your way, isn't the 1st enough to show how willing i am to put in effort for you and that i'll always care? or did you even take that into consideration?

and that nonchalence even when you know it's a possibility that the 2nd thing i put so much effort in could have been missing. you actually just said maybe someone took it, nvm thanks anyway. not even the slightest concern. no worries about it, no questions what it could be, but so hung up about a greeting that didn't come your way? i wonder what means more. and i really don't know anymore.

isn't that being selfish?

i just know... it was the best i've ever done.

and then i found out about the lies.

today made me realise you've never used your heart to appreciate me and feel my efforts. the things i do, the effort i put in, and me as a person... is so redundant.

i'm finally awake.

Closed Book At... [2:56 PM]

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