[[i hate this arising.]]
you'll never ever understand. the pain inside. been so long... but still seems like yesterday. 7 months, and still going.
sudden flashbacks of your harsh words and actions fresh in my mind. days i was left in the lurch, all alone, thrown aside like someone who will never ever mean anything to anyone anymore. my painful struggle, but you and your smiles. you were so nonchalent and unfeeling. really, nothing makes much of a difference now.
when a person is happy now, does someone else's sadness just seem to fade into nothingness? and to these people, some things are so easy in their happy world. cos' their happiness is all that matters, not you or your feelings, or anything else.
truly, i'm happy for you. but i know there's never going to be any point telling you anything. you won't understand. you can't feel. you don't know anything or maybe you pretend not to.
hate this inferiority. i wonder when it started to be this way.
but i'm ok. i will be.
i swallowed hard, and pondered hard.
i need to continue to focus.
it'll be over soon.
--
despite all, i'm so appreciative of certain things and people in my life. they make things a tad easier. and it's them who made me alive once again.
amidst the hurt, the fog just seems to clear up more.
Closed Book At... [4:14 PM]
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