[[lonely christmas]]

I can’t see the smiles anymore.

Can’t feel my smiles anymore.

Why do I always put myself in situations with tremendous hurt... again and again.

Early Christmas, to convey my simple wishes... to make you smile once again. I just didn’t want any regrets. But I guess I did wrong. Santa was terrible.

This time, I promise... it’s the last. I’m sorry. Are you glad?

Now I'm so sure... so sure that nothing will ever change. I’m too hurt to be ok... There are so many things you never knew. But now, it doesn’t really matter anymore.

No more stress, no more woes. I’m leaving... for good. So, will you smile now?

I wanna leave soon, to somewhere far far away. Time will fly...

I can take the rain on the roof of this empty house
That don't bother me
I can take a few tears now and then and just let ‘em out

I'm not afraid to cry every once in a while even though
Goin' on with you gone still upsets me
There are days every now and again I pretend I'm okay
But that's not what gets me

What hurts the most
Is being so close
And havin' so much to say
And watchin' you walk away

And never knowin'
What could've been
And not seein' that lovin' you
Is what I was tryin' to do

It's hard to deal with the pain of losin' you everywhere I go
But I'm doin' it
It's hard to force that smile when I see our old friends and I'm alone
Still harder gettin' up, gettin' dressed, livin' with this regret
But I know if I could do it over
I would trade, give away all the words that I saved in my heart
That I left unspoken

I miss my old friend... so much. Someone not inside you anymore. That special someone I’ll never forget. I know this person will never be the same in my life again, but might just be the same old him in many others' lives. It's ok. I smiled, cos' I once knew you. At least I still have memories I'll hold on dearly and never let go, no matter where I go... just to remember you, and that I ever existed in your life...

Closed Book At... [10:46 AM]

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