[[when the party is over, the confusion kicks in]]

i would really like to THANK everyone SO MUCH for my awesome birthday blast. hope you all had fun!! that's most important. =) and of cos' must enjoy the cakes too!

esp. BIG BIG BIG THANKS to my beloved 9p. i'm so sorry i think i wasn't a good host to you girls at all. i should have been more sensitive and it's been ages since i last seen you girls. i was just too caught up with many stuff.. and overlooked such important things. which i know, was wrong. really sorry.

the balloon decorations and specially arranged game. i enjoyed it tremendously, so much beyond words. the feeling is just so strong in my heart. i'm so appreciative of it.. and... yea. i know i'm bad at details cos' of impatient me. lousy right!

the soft spongy swiss roll, the fake shoelaces that look like edible fish strips, the lovely pretty and even CHEWY gummy bracelet on mel, my weird picture which didn't manage to appear on everyone's phone, the ridiculous 'aranda' rules (p.s. i bathed more than 10mins *gasp*) and...

the exclusive dot dot dot dot dot shoes with the LOVELY bling-studded swooooosh. =) nike shoes. it's none other than you, beloved 9p, who will put in so much effort... just for that day... just for me.

my regrets during the party... is that i didn't put aside other factors, to just enjoy myself, show my appreciation and spend enough time with you all. i will make it up for you girls someday k.. i feel really bad about it. but nonetheless, i'm so thankful and LOVE YOU ALL SO MUCH. i'm sure you know it. hope you all felt it too. but so sorry i guess i didn't make you all feel that way... sighs. my bad. really. =/ anyway, i wanna say... i love the hugs and kisses from you all. =) thanks. LOVE ALOT!!

and also... thanks to nicole claire heng li jun, my baby, my flower sister, my baobao for.. the lovely and awesome kate spade BIG BIG BAG!! love it to bits. and love you to pieces. =) and esp. my other 3 flower sisters. clonie, da ling and qiqi!! thanks thanks. i sense the effort so strongly.

esp clonie.. for dressing up so well, even brought her guitar bag with a metal rod! qiqi... for such ROCKER make up. haha. da ling.. for being so tired but still turning up, staying up to party and of cos' taking care of me.

lovely presents from people like mei chin and kat.. the blazer and little brown bag! love them loads! =) and others - my fav boutique, river island vouchers from roy, juang, qiqi, py... clarins cream, sexy undies & pretty band from sam love... baileys and sweet strawberry cakes from loo, joce, tam, chris and xy. yea. i love cards/letters/notes... not to forget the cute starry dress from qiang and gf... and lovely gifts from iris and xiaomei... donuts from bingbing... etc. oh ya, and py for the dope speakers.

the fun, funny yet dumb charades and acting games to self-sung music. LOL. i laughed... alot! hope you all enjoyed too. we drank, we played, we sang, we had lightsticks... everything. and pple like andy, kw, bingbing, py, da ling, clonie, baby nicole and of cos' qiqi... they do the funniest and stupidest things ever. never fail to make me laugh at all. =)

and everyone else for the well wishes. =) it's sweet.

everything! really. i've learnt and started to appreciate everything so much. even the simplest things. like clonie, qiqi and roy going to buy ice and drinks with me... maybe it's true. i've grown up.

but... is this like a turning point in life? a phase of adulthood?

i don't know what i want anymore...

things have progressed to this state and i'm really confused and stressed now.

the timing is always wrong.

will i really be happy? is it as simple as it seems?

have you actually thought of what i need, whether i will really be happy this way?

please... do think. cos' i don't have an answer for now.

Closed Book At... [10:40 AM]

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