Tuesday, June 24, 2008
upset. =( my feelings are forever on recurring mode. why... and things keep happening, reminding me of the unhappiness from the past, kept locked and put aside... but not forgotten.
why some pple can give up things so easily, but some others fight so hard and end up losing them cos of unexpected circumstances, which simply tears them apart. they will never ever have a chance again. is it really so hard to cherish existing things? must things happen before people realise... then regret?
but then again... meanings differ to every individual. it's not simply a right or wrong.
i would never have let u go, if i had a chance to hold you tight once again. but i wasn't granted the luxury of time and proximity. you mean so much to me. it hasn't diminished. do you know i would see you through everything you have to go through?
the two years, i'll wait. be there for you whenever you need me, just be happy watching you enjoy every other single aspect of your life even when you have no time for me. i'll understand every decision you make, everything you do. cos'... you're always loved by jas.
you know... i want to remember how it feels. but i can't anymore. it hurts not being able to. and... you don't even know what i'm going through now.
my life's been unhealthy. very unhealthy. i detest this me i'm seeing. been in denial. i realise i've changed. tremendously... deep within me. my heart's never the same again. i'll never be the same again. i seek joy in dancing. friends. and only dancing and friends. nothing else can make me whole again.
i don't remember when i started being so vulnerable, so insecure. starting to fear more things... so very afraid. afraid of people going away from my life. please don't. i don't want to lose dance too. but i know i will. soon enough. time's passing so fast. i'll then be a passing cloud. my feet's giving way, really can't take it. but i will overcome and finish what i wanna do. i'll be strong.
and hope jean da ling takes good care of herself and gets well soon. it's so tough and frustrating wanting to do something but just can't. rest well k!! my beloved glutton face. =)
some tbg photos...
Closed Book At... [11:22 PM]